Twitter favourites

me: is it plugged in?
lady: yes.
me: is it plugged into the right thing?
lady: oh...no.

- jaredvenezia, Twitter

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zach: the comp. doesnt work
me: did u turn it on
zach: yea ass
me: even the switch on back
zach: (sound of switch) shut the hell up

- slinetty, Twitter

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guy: can you come fix my pc?
me: fine. (walks over)
guy: uh...it's working now that you're here.
me: go in peace. your faith has healed you.

- jaredvenezia, Twitter